Dita and Perry Interview

Here’s a little interview that Dita and Perry did for Parajunkee! Enjoy!


Dita starting with you, how much fun is it to screw with humans?
Dita: It’s fun but there’s a lot of work in the day to day. I particularly enjoy messing with the Kardashians.
Perry: Ugh, you’re so mean. I happen to love them. Oh, remember Madonna? You made her go bananas in the 90’s.
Dita: (laughs) That was fun.

Dita, how hard is it to maintain your sanity living in close proximity with the other Gods?
Dita: We’ve all lived together for so long that it just works. The competitions help exercise a healthy rivalry, so we don’t interfere with each other nearly as much as we would otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, we get on each other’s nerves, but we’ve known each other for so long that we’ve figured out the dynamics to our relationships, however dysfunctional that they are.
Perry: (shrugs) I usually stick to the underworld. Plus, no one really messes with me. They don’t want to get it from Hades.

Perry, what is it like being married to the keeper of the underworld? Is it hot down there like I have heard?
Perry: Well, Hades is a demon in bed, so that’s a huge bonus. Pun intended. But he’s sweet and caring, which surprises most people. He can throw on the power switch like it’s no big deal. And when he’s on, it can be pretty scary.
As for temperatures, the underworld is only hot in the places where it needs to be, for specific punishments. There are places that are frozen. “Hell freezing over” is a huge inside joke that Apollo came up with. Otherwise, for the most part, it’s climate controlled.

Dita, have you ever thought of becoming like humans to walk amongst us? If so what thoughts did you entertain of doing while here?
Dita: We love to walk amongst humans. We’re usually too busy, but we do. Occasionally I go down when I’m pissed, or every once in a while, if a human strikes my fancy. But most everything can be handled from Olympus. Going to earth is a novelty, but we love to when we have time. Humans are our favorites.

Dita, how heart breaking was it to be told you had to marry Hephaestus?
Dita: I wasn’t broken hearted as much as I was pissed. Not at Heff, he didn’t have anything to do with it. At Zeus. At his nerve. Ultimately, it didn’t make a difference in stopping any of the drama over me. It was humiliating to be objectified in that way.

Perry, what’s up with creepy dog? Do you enjoy living with that beast?
Perry: Cerberus? Oh, he’s just a big teddy bear. Aside from the excessive drool that comes from having three heads, he’s sweet. I mean, as long as you’re not undead trying to escape the underworld. In that case, he’ll eat your zombie face off.

This question is for both of you, if you could change one event in human history what would you chose to alter?
Dita: I would have made the 60’s last much longer. The rediscovery of sexual freedom after a thousand years of repression is one of my favorite achievements.
Perry: The holocaust. The underworld was not a place I wanted to be during that period. And, I’ve never hated Ares so much, not in all of eternity.

Of all the Gods, who has the best smile, abs, sense of humor, laugh, and personality?
Dita: Best smile is probably Hermes. It helps him, with his sneaky nature, to appear docile.
Best abs, Apollo. He works out like whoa.
Best sense of humor would be Dionysus.
Best laugh, in my opinion, is Ares, as rare as it is to hear him laugh genuinely, and without the malicious undertone that makes most people’s skin crawl.
Best personality would probably be Apollo. He’s funny, witty, kind, and generally really entertaining, which is apt since he’s the god of theater and music.

Perry, do you ever wish you hadn’t married Hades?
Perry: If you had asked me when he kidnapped me, I would say hell yes. But now? He’s more than proved himself. He wasn’t as smooth 4,000 years ago as he is now. Largely in thanks to me.

Perry and Dita, what are some of your favorite movies, songs, singers and actors?
Perry: I’m obsessed with the Kardashians, as mentioned, and much to Dita’s dismay.
Dita: I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.
Perry: What’s not to get?
Dita: No comment.
Perry: Anyway. My favorite movies are Sweeny Todd, Pan’s Labyrinth, and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Bands…I love The Gossip, Skrillex, and Sleigh Bells. It’s impossible to pick a favorite song, but right now I can’t get enough of “URA Fever” by the Kills and “I Start to Run” by White Denim.
Dita: Favorite movies are anything with Audrey Hepburn, Better Off Dead, and The Wedding Singer. I’m in love with the Smiths, Washed Out, and Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs. Favorite songs right now are “I love it” by Iconopop, “Madness” by Muse, and “Silikon” by Modeselektor. Actors? I love Audrey, Elizabeth Taylor, who was a glorious mess and one of my favorites, and Robert Redford.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Perry: Actually, the rooster came first.
Dita: Perry, can we please not talk about that?
Perry: So, this one time, Ares and Dita were…coupling, and Ares had a boy named Alectryon keeping watch.
Dita: Perry, seriously. We don’t need to –
Perry: And anyway, Apollo came walking in and busted them. Ares was so pissed, that he turned Alectryon into a rooster, who crows when Apollo, the sun god, makes an appearance.
Dita: Yeah, yeah. And then the chicken came, and then the egg.

Perry, what has been the best moment of your existence?
Perry: The moment I realized I loved Hades. It was a long road to get there, after he kidnapped me from my mother and I was tricked into being confined to the underworld. He’s nothing if not persistent, though. I’m just thankful that we got past it all.

What can we expect to see from you both as well as the other Gods in the next book?
Dita: Well, Ares and I will be competing, which is usually a hot mess.
Perry: Dita and Ares competitions are always heated, and heavy. He always picks humans who are really damaged, and extraordinarily bad at relationships.
Dita: I’d like to add that he’s never beaten me. For the record.

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